Sounds of the season

Begin Rant:
Nothing against Christmas music, but if I hear one more DIVA belt out a traditional tune filled with such trilling and scaling on every 'power note' I am going to boycott it for eternity!

You can sing a song, or you can sing the Hell out of it....Whitney... Mariah... Celine....Christina..... shut the eff up! Less is more, trust me. You don't need to demonstrate the power of your pipes on every note that lasts longer than a beat. Hey Suess Christy, I never knew that you could stretch an original one or two syllable word into five! You truly have a unique way of expressing yourselves.

We don't doubt that you have quite a gift, just stop sharing it so much!

Thank you!

End Rant

Sell, sell, SELL!

I was sitting at work today and a commercial came on the radio for a local jeweler. Made me give a quick little giggle because the announcer, slinging wares for the Christmas holiday, asks pointedly "Want to make her eyes sparkle this year?"

The first thought that leapt into my rewired brain was:

"Shine a flashlight in her ears..."

Work days full of serious notes (and flatulence)

Serious Note:

I am wearing my red ribbon for World Aids Day - ironically, it is the only splash of color on my otherwise black ensemble.

Not so Serious Notes:

I was smelling this wonderful orange-esq scent all day today. As I was going to lunch I looked at my supervisor and asked if she was wearing some sort of citrus lotion. She shook her head then cast a quick glance over her shoulder at the office behind her. Directing her query to the person seated in there, she asked, "Are you spraying your stuff again?" The guilty party nodded her head and sheepishly exclaimed she had been suffering from a gastric upset and didn't want to offend anyone in the nearby area. Of course, this was met by the usual giggling like school girls, because I don't care how old you get, gas is still kind of funny!

Yesterday, I was stalked by a suitor. I got multiple proposals of marriage from him, followed up by statements about changing him to be the beneficiary of my life insurance policies. This was after a conversation that revolved around our perpetual debt and the pen-chance for being broke all the time. I whimpered that I didn't think I would see New Years if we got married. His response: "Did you have plans after that?"
I told him I might be willing to sell a kidney for him, if he would provide the ice bath and the anesthesia.

Would you change your last name if it was Lickfold? Just wondering.

I had an email exchange with my room mate with the aide of babble fish. I asked about eating tofu and dancing like monkeys. Because it's even more funny in German!

There is a very distinct possibility that I have taken all leave of my senses. I may have to confirm and let you know later.