Well chock that one up to luck!
Picture this: Thanksgiving day, November 2005. It was cloudy and threatening rain. I was in the car, en route to my parents home for the feasting. I was bringing with me, one room mate (IE: surrogate sister) and she was holding one freshly baked pumpkin pie. Let me just say, I can work it in a kitchen, and I am a pretty damn good cook, but SHE is the baking queen. So, what she was holding was precious cargo.
As I was exiting the freeway, I noticed the woman in the left lane next me, driving an early model POS with a car seat and forty stuffed animals in the back window, suddenly slam on her brakes. Seeing nothing in front of either of us, I glanced in the rear view and spotted the police car behind her. I think he shocked us both when he pulled into my lane and turned on his lights.
I got that feeling of 'my stomach has climbed up into my throat and is playing a staccato rhythm on my tongue' and pulled to the side of the road. Oh boy!
"Did you know your tabs are expired?" He asked.
"You are kidding me??!?!" I started emphatically gesturing to Jamie to open my glove compartment to prove that statement wrong. She placed the pie on the dash board and dug into the compartment in vain. The only document that was found was the previous year. Okay - I remembered getting the renewal notice in the mail, and also remembered setting it aside to send in a check, but I don't think I recall ever actually doing it! That was supposed to have been done in June. Six months and no one noticed until now. Um, OOPS!
Oh wait, it gets better!
He asks for my driver's license. Apparently, my car wasn't the only thing I had forgotten to license! This one had expired in April, 8 months prior to the pulling over. Oh my god. As I removed it from my wallet and handed it out the window I stated:
"Oh, that's expired too!" He contemplated me closely for a moment then responded,
"You are not having a very good day are you?"
"Well, I was..." I admitted.
"You have insurance don't you?"
"YES! I do!!" (that card was expired too, but at this point it was fairly moot!)
He took my offending information and walked back to his car. I contemplated my suicide, or chances of succeeding in a high speed pursuit. But the only real word that was floating through my mind was a swear word I save for special occasions. It was being repeated incessantly.
As he walked back over to me I readied myself for the hauling to jail, the forty million dollar ticket, the towing of my car, the ruination of my day to it's fullest extent! Nothing prepared me for the next thing out of his mouth.
"Tara, I am not giving you a ticket, but you need to get this taken care of right away. You are breaking the law!" I nodded dutifully, when in reality I was ready to leap through the open window to kiss him. "I am letting you go, but I can't let you drive this car or I will impound it. You and your passenger need to switch out." Jamie piped up.
"I haven't driven a stick in 15 years!" I besought the officer sheepishly and he looked at me with something that resembled sympathy.
"Why don't you drive up to one of those parking lots and park it, is there someone you can call?"
Is there??!! He left me in the parking lot. I called my parents to advise we were going to be late. While my mother and I were working out the details of who was going to come and drive my car the remaining 2 miles to their house, Jamie stated she would be willing to try it if I would coach her. We switched seats.
I have never been in the passenger seat of my car. It was odd to say the least.
The next few minutes were filled with statements of "Little more gas....good...clutch...clutch....more gas...good!" I have to give Jamie props she did well, killing the engine only a few times. (mostly due to the pressure of other vehicles behind her at stop lights!) But all in all, she did good! No destroying of the transmission or burning out the clutch. My mother was waiting in the driveway and applauded when we pulled up.
I got out of the car (handed her the pie) and went inside. My father was sitting at the kitchen table, I sat down across from him and announced that his youngest daughter was a felon. His response:
"It's about time!"
Needless to say - I spent that weekend getting legal and thanking my lucky stars! I still don't know how I got out of that one. Maybe it's hard for people to think I could ever willingly, knowingly do something wrong? Jamie says it's the lips. I can't tell, but I will take it!
As I was exiting the freeway, I noticed the woman in the left lane next me, driving an early model POS with a car seat and forty stuffed animals in the back window, suddenly slam on her brakes. Seeing nothing in front of either of us, I glanced in the rear view and spotted the police car behind her. I think he shocked us both when he pulled into my lane and turned on his lights.
I got that feeling of 'my stomach has climbed up into my throat and is playing a staccato rhythm on my tongue' and pulled to the side of the road. Oh boy!
"Did you know your tabs are expired?" He asked.
"You are kidding me??!?!" I started emphatically gesturing to Jamie to open my glove compartment to prove that statement wrong. She placed the pie on the dash board and dug into the compartment in vain. The only document that was found was the previous year. Okay - I remembered getting the renewal notice in the mail, and also remembered setting it aside to send in a check, but I don't think I recall ever actually doing it! That was supposed to have been done in June. Six months and no one noticed until now. Um, OOPS!
Oh wait, it gets better!
He asks for my driver's license. Apparently, my car wasn't the only thing I had forgotten to license! This one had expired in April, 8 months prior to the pulling over. Oh my god. As I removed it from my wallet and handed it out the window I stated:
"Oh, that's expired too!" He contemplated me closely for a moment then responded,
"You are not having a very good day are you?"
"Well, I was..." I admitted.
"You have insurance don't you?"
"YES! I do!!" (that card was expired too, but at this point it was fairly moot!)
He took my offending information and walked back to his car. I contemplated my suicide, or chances of succeeding in a high speed pursuit. But the only real word that was floating through my mind was a swear word I save for special occasions. It was being repeated incessantly.
As he walked back over to me I readied myself for the hauling to jail, the forty million dollar ticket, the towing of my car, the ruination of my day to it's fullest extent! Nothing prepared me for the next thing out of his mouth.
"Tara, I am not giving you a ticket, but you need to get this taken care of right away. You are breaking the law!" I nodded dutifully, when in reality I was ready to leap through the open window to kiss him. "I am letting you go, but I can't let you drive this car or I will impound it. You and your passenger need to switch out." Jamie piped up.
"I haven't driven a stick in 15 years!" I besought the officer sheepishly and he looked at me with something that resembled sympathy.
"Why don't you drive up to one of those parking lots and park it, is there someone you can call?"
Is there??!! He left me in the parking lot. I called my parents to advise we were going to be late. While my mother and I were working out the details of who was going to come and drive my car the remaining 2 miles to their house, Jamie stated she would be willing to try it if I would coach her. We switched seats.
I have never been in the passenger seat of my car. It was odd to say the least.
The next few minutes were filled with statements of "Little more gas....good...clutch...clutch....more gas...good!" I have to give Jamie props she did well, killing the engine only a few times. (mostly due to the pressure of other vehicles behind her at stop lights!) But all in all, she did good! No destroying of the transmission or burning out the clutch. My mother was waiting in the driveway and applauded when we pulled up.
I got out of the car (handed her the pie) and went inside. My father was sitting at the kitchen table, I sat down across from him and announced that his youngest daughter was a felon. His response:
"It's about time!"
Needless to say - I spent that weekend getting legal and thanking my lucky stars! I still don't know how I got out of that one. Maybe it's hard for people to think I could ever willingly, knowingly do something wrong? Jamie says it's the lips. I can't tell, but I will take it!
Labels: the odd stories in life
posted by Tara at 12:53 PM
2 Comments:
I hate you. All THREE times I've been pulled over I've received a ticket promptly afterward. Jerks.
p.s. I don't really hate you. Only the way you so craftily escape persecution. And only because I'm jealous. ;)
I know - for some reason, each time I have been pulled over- they let me go.... I don't want to tempt fate!! yowza!!
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